Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Declaration

There is change afoot,
I feel it coming,
The vibrations build,
Like guitar strumming.

Change is good,
And often so,
Is a painful event,
As we choose to grow.

We must part ways,
With prior paths,
Change out our habits,
Like the water from our baths.

Let the water wash us free,
Of the dirt and grime,
Let it stand at the bottom of the tub,
In a thick film of slime.

Stand up from the bath,
Naked and bare,
Stand to face the world,
Without a single care.

Some old habits,
Will die a slow death,
But when dead,
You can take a calm breath.

Some friends will not understand,
The change in me,
They will claim its just a part,
Of the same old dichotomy.

The blending of intent,
Is not elusive,
Thought and action,
Don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Declarations are easy,
They set the stage,
For what we are going to be,
Regardless of age.

I make the decision,
The declaration,
I want to create myself anew,
Find a new formation.

So if my actions seem out of place,
Forgive me please,
As I move to a new space.

Deeper

My mind is empty,
Completely blank,
I might as well be sitting,
On a river bank.

Nothing comes,
I walk the halls of my mind,
Opening the doors,
Searching the floors,
I follow the paths that wind.

Childhood memories of when I was two,
Later years while visiting the zoo.

I see my relationships,
As I walk my mind,
Opening closet doors,
As I wind.

In the middle of my mind,
Lies a great mound,
All my lost memories,
Have finally been found.

Lying there in a heap,
I don’t know why they are there,
I see my actions of the time,
Held in place by nothing but air.

They should have been put away,
Neatly stored,
For a future day.

This mismatched heap,
Represents my understanding,
They wound up in the mound,
Because I could not reach ground.

I didn’t understand the results,
Or my actions,
So when I tried to put them away,
I kicked off a chain reaction.

Each of the closets refused to allow,
The entry of something that was not understood.

The doors closed one by one,
And seemed to communicate with each other ahead of my intent,
Forcing me to be done.

Without a place to store my memory,
It wound up lying in the mound,
To get mixed up with all the others,
To always sit there going round.

Around it would spin,
That had no space,
It spun with others,
Waiting to be faced.

I have found the mound,
And now I know,
I must be at peace or,
My mind will be blown.

Each of the memories and thoughts I have had,
That need to be put away,
I must understand.

Understand the reason,
The deeper thought,
This must be done,
If I am to be taught.

Reject

Today is different than it was,
There are fewer places to go,
People are crowding is such a small spaces,
It’s as if they know.

If we stand side by side,
There are many differences between us,
Yet we all walk together in much the same stride.

We try to separate ourselves,
To show who we are,
To prove our worth.

Some use ink,
Others use needles,
To make a statement,
To separate us from the weebles.

We each try to shock,
To make ourselves known,
To differentiate us from the flock,
Our egos must be shown.

There is a change afoot,
Of this I am sure,
We’re starting to spare the boot,
Starting to share the cure.

We practice acceptance,
To those that we know,
We accept our friends,
Like we do the snow.

Those outside our click,
They are spared,
Our wonderful acceptance,
Of which is sparingly shared.

We see the imperfect,
And that is a shame,
For the feeling of separation,
Is ours to blame.

Look outside the zone,
At the imperfection,
See the weakness,
With no need for correction.

We expect the perfect,
In those that we meet,
We do not tolerate,
Those that live on the street.

They are there my friend,
As a matter of choice,
For theirs is perfect,
And in it they rejoice.

Each of us has something to share,
It is up to us to accept,
The gift of a stranger,
Without need to reject.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Voice

Wind rustles the summer leaves,
Clearing the dust,
From my mind.

Free of grime,
I can see the freshness,
Of the color.

I think of this filter,
And how it applies,
Not only to nature,
But to my eyes.

Day to day living creates my mind’s dust,
To cloud my internal vision,
I prevent as this I must.

Stopping to listen,
To nothing at all,
Will eventually lead me to be,
As strong as the wall.

Listening to nothing at all,
Allows me to hear,
The voice of God,
Whispered in my ear.

Dark

Pulsing,
Pounding,
Pumping,
Grounding.

The mechanism of your heart.

I smell the blood,
Run through your veins,
Making me hungry,
Causing me pains.

I want to feel your heat,
In stark contrast,
To my ever present cold.

I want to feel your youth,
In stark contrast,
To my ancient presence old.

To feel you,
You must agree,
To feel you,
Will set me free.

Free for a moment,
Maybe two,
Before my hunger makes me,
Replace you.

I will bring you such pleasure,
There will be no pain,
I will suckle at your breast,
Just to stay sane.

I love the feeling that is you,
That feeling of life,
Robbed from me so long ago.

I stay in the dark,
To hide my ghastly mark,
The truth of me my friend,
Is unbelievably stark.

My teeth will sink,
Into your lovely flesh,
Starkly marking you,
To spend forever in the dark.

Reaction

Genetic instruction
Keeps us alive.

Making our heart beat,
Our lungs breath.

We do these things on automatic,
Never having to think,
Our brains figured out long ago,
That there is a link.

A link that can be trained,
To reduce the things,
That prevent us from feeling,
The joy the soul brings.

We can train this link,
For right or wrong,
We can train this link,
Just like singing a song.

Make the same choice,
Set into action,
The perfect choice,
Reduce the reaction.

Reaction happens,
With the sound of a thunk,
Reaction happens,
Just like when you’re drunk.

Train your brain,
To make the same choice,
Train your brain to remove the strain.

Stop yourself
And ask why,
Ask yourself,
For others will lie.

Stop yourself,
This must be learnt,
Ask yourself,
Before you get burnt.

Make the same choice,
Set into action,
The perfect choice,
Is not a reaction.

Ride

The window slammed shut,
It did so with a thunk,
It seemed really loud,
It must be cause I’m drunk.

I drink my drink,
So I don’t have to think.

The troubles of the day,
Compound on each other,
Till everything is grey.

The red blood of anger,
The blue of my mood,
The white hot rage,
Make me wish that I could.

I get tired of dreaming,
Only to be let down,
Its like the winter of my youth,
Everything is brown.

I drink my drink,
So I don’t have to think.

I will stop tomorrow,
For it never comes,
I will cleanse my pallet,
I’ll say no to the rums.

No to the drink,
That numbs me inside,
I’ll live life on its terms,
I’ll enjoy the ride.

Acceptance

You say you don’t agree,
That my choice is wrong.

I didn’t ask for that.

You say I am on a rocket ride to hell,
That surely my actions must just be a spell.

I didn’t ask for that.

It feels sometimes like you beat me with a stick,
I know my choices will land me in the thick.

You think of me as crazy,
Hell you even call me lazy.

I didn’t ask for that.

I tell you what’s going on,
To share with you,
I tell you what’s going on because,
You are one of the few.

The few that I trust.

I don’t want your opinion,
I don’t want your view,
All I ever wanted,
Was my acceptance by you.

Real

I have walked the same path,
Time and again,
I never seem to escape the wrath.

The emotional wrath,
Of my poor choices,
The pain is immune to the bath.

I soak myself,
To rid me of the pain,
Sitting in the calm waters,
I mentally try to explain.

Explain to myself,
That it’s not my fault,
Reason with myself over,
How I got caught.

I have traveled the same trail,
Time and again,
I am always chasing my own tail.

Break the cycle I must,
I don’t know how,
When it’s me I don’t trust.

I must have been told a thousand times,
I have been subjected to hundreds of lies.

When I start to feel better,
And strip off all my clothes,
Some one always hands me a sweater.

I knew what felt good,
What my soul wanted to express,
To strip away the illusion,
To finally make progress.

I always knew I wanted to show,
To each and every one of you,
The Soul I came to know.

My soul is you,
The rest is a lie,
My soul is you,
It’s as simple as pie.

I want to be with you,
But not like that.

I want to share with you,
All that I feel,
So that we together,
Can finally see what’s real.

Victim

Life is rough,
Full of trouble,
I never get a break,
Someone always busts my bubble.

My girlfriend left me,
My rent is late,
Everyone around says that,
Life is so great.

That’s a lie,
Of this I am sure,
Everyone is out to get me,
I just try to be pure.

My car is out of gas,
The engine broke down,
I walk along the road,
Feeling like a clown.

My friends look at me,
With sadness and pity,
I need a change of pace,
I need a new city.

The problem with running,
No matter where I go,
I am stuck in a new place,
With the same old ego.

That’s a lie,
Of this I am sure,
Everyone is out to get me,
I just try to be pure.

I must make a change,
I must try to be better,
To make my life something,
That doesn’t end in a letter.

I am so tired,
Of the way things are,
I make the same mistakes,
It’s like walking through tar.

How do I change,
When the world is against me?

How do I change,
When I feel so alone?

I’ve walked these paths,
A thousand times,
They are as familiar to me,
As are these rhymes.

Maybe instead of blaming,
I look at my actions,
I take a long look at the result,
My mental attractions.

Thought is pure,
It can create,
I’ll change the way I think,
So that maybe I can relate.

Relate to the power,
I must make a new dictum,
So that I can live my life,
And not be a victim.

True

Left or right,
Right or wrong,
These are the stories,
Of many a song.

The decision to choose,
Leaves us bare,
When we look outside ourselves,
As we seek to compare.

Inside us all,
Are the answers we seek,
Inside us all,
Is never meek.

Choose your way,
With tender care,
Proceed then my friend,
With no need for flare.

Your choice defines you,
Not for me,
Your choice defines you,
In this you must be free.

Free to choose,
Your path,
Is just as simple as,
Elemental math.

My desires,
Should not play,
When you decide to choose,
If you leave or stay.

It has been said,
Nothing is better for you,
William Shakespeare was a mother fucker,
To thine own self be true.

Reaper

Warm,
Comfort,
Covered,
Sleep.
I awake in the night,
Too afraid to weep.

Standing above me,
Covered in black,
Is the face of the reaper,
Come to take me back.

His eyes glow red,
His fangs drip drool,
I can not move I think,
I am such a fool.

His whisper is soft,
His intent well known,
I am too young to die,
My mind is blown.

I lay there in fear,
And wish with all my might,
That the reaper made a mistake,
That this can’t be right.




He leaned down closer,
To get a good stare,
He looked me in the eyes,
I thought that life is unfair.

From the living room,
I hear a quite chant,
The reaper heard it too,
And began to rant.

In the room you see,
Was a woman so frail,
You would think she was,
As old as the grail.

She told him to go,
To leave this place,
Do not return here,
No welcome in this space.

The reaper cried in pain,
As though he’d met his match,
I heard the bedroom door go closed,
With the cinching of the latch.

The reaper is strong,
Of this there is no doubt,
True love is the only way,
To keep the reaper out.

Space

I am here,
You are there.

There is a space between,
You and I,
That is as natural,
As the expanse of the sky.

Fly high,
Reach the height,
As high as you can,
Free of fright.

We stand together,
But separate,
To see each others view,
Often makes us desperate.

Desperate for compassion,
Desperate for love,
Desperate to connect.

I will stand before you,
Free of my ego,
And encourage you to explore me,
Like the discoverer Amerigo.

Find in me the things you seek,
Take as long as you need,
Find in me the similarities,
Other than our ability to bleed.

I want for you,
The same,
Our blending together,
Should be without shame.

Stand before me,
Naked and bare,
Stand before me,
With loving care.

I will find in you,
The things I miss about me,
I will find in you,
Such wondrous glee.

The space between,
Simply is not,
The illusion itself,
Should always be fought.

Lemonade

A man set sail,
In the year,
Of 1980,
Oh dear.

He set sail you see,
To escape the mediocrity,
Of life,
In the Flatland.

The dawning of the second Millennium,
Brought the death,
Of the cheerleading section,
For our traveling sailor.

He knew at the time,
That momma did what mamma’s do,
They prepare for the future,
And then conduct a test for you.

She prepared him for the future,
By teaching him love,
For that of his grandmother,
As soft as a dove.

When She died,
It was almost as if,
The wind,
Had lost its power,
To bend.

The sail of our young sailor you see,
Fell to the decks,
Without the power,
Of the wind behind him.

By this time though,
There was another woman,
In which he could care,
To the deepest levels,
That he ever wanted to share.

He learned that in the deepest hours,
There will always be someone,
To share their pain with the deepest of yours.

So now you see,
Our young sailor,
Missed his momma,
But found in a trailer,
A beautiful woman,
That would make a sailor greater.

Its been nearly,
Three decades,
And life is still like,
Two frosty raspberry lemonades.

Might

I stand here before you,
Not knowing my full extent,
Never having tested,
The full depths of my intent.

I thought that I knew my limits,
But was not completely sure,
Of the level of pain,
I would endure.
For you.

Then I decided.

I will do things for myself,
For you though,
I will test my demons,
And beat them at every row.

For you I will,
Face the ugliest demons,
The demon of self degradation,
The one of self doubt,
Just so I am worthy of your dedication.

For you I will,
Face the ugliest demons,
The demon of self worth,
The one of recrimination,
In the hopes your love will poor forth.

For you I will,
Conquer,
For you I will,
Fight,
Because of you,
I know in the night,
That you and I together,Create great might.

Hell

Yesterday is as it was,
Try as you might,
You will never change.

Change what happened,
Into what you want.

Tomorrow is open,
Like the pages of an empty book,
To see the possibility,
All you must do is look.

Look to yourself,
And define your greatest vision,
See your success.

Success is self defined,
Only you can tell,
If the actions you take,
Will lead you to hell.

But this you must know,
Without a single doubt,
The hell I speak of,
Is what it is all about.

Hell as a place does not exist,
Instead I say,
Your feelings about what you do,
Is the only hell you will pay.

God doesn’t care,
And sees no right or wrong,
For God wants to feel,
To experience it all.

Ask yourself before you act,
Is this what God would do,
Since you are in a pact.

A pact with God,
Him as the creator,
And you my friend,
As the ultimate player.

Lies

Tears run down,
From swollen eyes,
Across my face,
I finally see the devastation of my lies.

The lies I have told,
To make me feel sane,
To salve my tattered ego,
I feel I must explain.

Explanation for me,
And not for you,
I must bear my soul,
To again reach the blue.

I have said I am not worthy,
Not deserving of your gifts,
My self imposed crisis,
Has caused us many rifts.

My actions it seems,
Affect more than just me,
My anger and fear,
Keep me from being free.

Free to Love,
Free to hold on,
Free to cherish,
Prevent me from being strong.

The blue that I seek,
Is my connection to you,
That perfect dancing flame,
Cannot be misconstrued.

I will tell me the truth,
Regardless of the pain,
My mind wants to fight me,
As I struggle to stay sane.

Face

Darkened sky,
Hiding the sun.

Darkened leaves,
Darker shadows.

The roll of distant thunder,
Far from my space,
Cleaning the air,
Healing the place.

Skies open,
And cry,
Raining down the happiness,
Until nothing left is dry.

Fog rising,
To soften my view.

Rain flowing,
Down my face,
Making me feel,
As though my heart were out of pace.

Turning,
I see your shape.

My heart instantly,
Jumps in its place,
Tranquil and calm,
That look of love on your face.

Ego

I can be your worst enemy or,
I can be your best friend,
But always remember this,
That I will never end.

I was there in the beginning
Through your thicks and thins,
I have seen you be a saint,
I have watched you commit your sins.

I have been a part,
Of your greatest times,
I watched as the world laughed at you,
Like they do for the mimes.

I am your ego,
And proudly I will stand,
To keep you held in place,
Just as surely as the land.

What's that you say,
I have no place,
We shall see how far you go,
Without me keeping pace.

For it is I who set the stage,
The way that you see,
The things that you hear,
All get twisted for you by me.

I am your ego,
And firmly I will stand,
To keep you held in place,
Just as firmly as the sand.

What's that you say,
You want me to go,
You will be lost without me,
As sure as the driven snow.

Lost I say without me,
To keep you in check.
You will be lost just as surely,
As the scattered deck.


Go you say,
And this I will do,
You say you no longer need me.

How will you survive the world,
Without my protection,
You say you don’t need me,
Because humans share a connection.

I am you,
You see,
Of this we are certain.

You no longer need me you say,
You have out grown the need,
I will watch you go to hell,
With the greatest of speed.

You say there is no trouble,
You say there is no stress,
Just wait around my friend,
For the ultimate test.

The world will test you,
It will throw up road blocks,
Of this you can be certain,
Like the ticking of the clocks.

I do not like this you,
For there has been a change,
You have stretched your arms wide open,
In the extension of your range.

Gone are the days,
When there was just us,
You have wounded me,
And this I must discuss.

Go you say,
And I do so with fear,
Remember this my friend,
I will always find you dear.

Look at Me

I see your face,
As I pass you by,
The frown, the grin
Not really knowing why.

I hear you talk from time to time,
And hardly ever it seems,
That you are sublime.

More than that,
You seem sad,
Talking of your troubles
Is life really that bad?

Do you know there is so much more,
More to life,
Than just a score.

Do you know it’s the little things,
That will bring you the happiness,
Of your dreams.

Look at me when we meet,
Look in my eyes,
And let me look in yours.

We will meet each other there in that gaze,
Me in you,
And
You in me.

Grace

Headlines read,
Woman killed by strangulation,
Killed by her husband,
What a wonderful declaration.

Headlines read,
Woman and unborn child beaten to death,
Her father is to blame,
Must protect the family honor and wealth,
He proclaims.

I read these reports,
With sadness and anger.

They stir in me emotion,
Not completely unfamiliar,
But never have I given in.

I watch the news,
To try and stay abreast,
But news like this,
Makes me pause for a rest.

The emotions I feel,
Are as strong as steel.
In my learning,
I have learned not to reel.

Acceptance is one thing,
When no one has died,
But can I accept these fates,
I feel like they a have lied.

I could be those men,
Minus one small fact,
I choose a different way,
In the way that I act.

I see myself in them,
Sad but so,
But for the grace of God,There might I go.

Brook

Rocks,
Water,
Sand and,
Stone.

These are the pieces,
When brought together,
Create the brook,
That forever will be unfettered.

We look upon the winding path,
The stream most surely made,
Bending and turning,
Providing us places to wade.

We step out into the water,
Without any fear,
Allowing the calmness,
To wash away the tears.

The brook you see,
Will always be,
Calmly flowing over the rocks.

The water flows,
From point to point,
Always changing,
Never forgetting its power to anoint.

I am the stone and the rock,
And you are my water,
Calmly flowing over me,
To create that which does not falter.

Addiction

I awake in the morning,
Ready for the day,
Seeing you lie there all ready for me,
I really just wish that you would stay.

Stay where you are,
Right where I left you.

You bring me peace,
You bring me calm,
Your taste to me is like a balm.

I turn to you in times of stress,
Times of loneliness.
Your calm washes over me.

But,
You,
My friend are killing me.
Slowly,
Insidiously.

Each time that I reach for you,
I loose a part of me.
I loose my ability to cope,
To understand.

Yours is an addiction beyond compare.

You fix my heart in times of despair.

I love your calmness,
Your accepting.

I hate your ability to make me crazy
In your absence.

One day I will win,
I will throw you away.
Placing you in the ashes, At the end of the day.

Dearly

I welcome you,
You ugly Beast,
Come and take me,
As if I were your feast.

Bring me your failure,
Your tales of disbelief,
Bring it all,
For in it I find relief.

Your failure does not scare me,
Nor does it make me sweat,
For I am better than you,
In this is you should fret.

I know that when your time is done,
That I will be all the better,
For when you are done with me,
I will remember clearly,
In who and what I am,
And I love me dearly.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Walls

Walls

Brick and mortar,
Wood and concrete,
All make walls that are seen.

Pain and fear,
Loss and separation,
Make the walls of invisibility.

These hidden walls,
Are inside us all,
They form a ceiling,
Preventing us from being tall.

I have been hurt,
That surely is true,
I will build a wall around me,
To keep from getting screwed.

I have been the brunt,
Of some of your jokes,
I will build a wall around me,
To protect me from your pokes.

I have sent my love out,
Unto the day ahead,
I will build walls around me,
To protect me like a shed.

I get so tired,
Of being alone,
The walls have formed an isolation,
So now I feel like stone.

Stone is immoveable,
Steady in its place,
Taking all that is given,
It never wins the race.

I will tear down my walls,
One by one,
Until they are but naught.

I will turn from the stone,
I will live my life,
So that I no longer will be alone.

Continuum

Continuum

Starting small,
With just a step,
We venture forth,
Not really knowing,
Which way is due north.

Before you know it,
We learn to walk,
And even sooner,
We begin to talk.

Baby steps,
And simple words,
And before you know it,
We gather in herds.

Finding the limit,
Of our own self,
Never allowing us,
To be placed on a shelf.

Continuous extension,
Is our goal,
Allowing us all to see,
The expanse of the whole.

Craving

Craving

Weapons, Guns,
Death and destruction,
All are methods employed,
To create our worldly construction.

The explosion of earth,
The rain of pain,
Is always to be justified,
As if it was sane.

Anger and fear,
For lack of control,
There is a better way,
To see our lives in full.

Love and acceptance,
Is true to our form,
Kindness and Courage,
Should be our new norm.

A norm you see,
That embraces the weak,
A loving response,
To raise up the meek.

Seek not to run down,
The tired and poor,
Decide instead,
To stand like the shore.

Stand your ground,
Against the fearful waves,
Open your love,
As that is what your soul craves.